1- Why I Fight!

East Central Regional Juvenile Center- Lino Lakes, MN- April 2010

For those of you who don’t know or understand why I dedicate myself to fighting our criminal injustice system, I want to tell you.

               Almost exactly 10 years ago, in early October, I was released from the most traumatic place I have ever experienced. On the same property that the Minnesota Correctional Facility- Lino Lakes sits, there is a building squeezed between Lino Lakes Minimum and the Anoka County Non-Secure program. Inside that building there is anywhere between 20-50 youth hoping that someone will miraculously come in and save them from their reality of being trapped in a living hell. I used to sit in my cell and stare out my 2 inch window praying that a group of my family and friends would suddenly appear to come take me home. Wishful thinking.

               I spent 186 days and 185 nights living in a constant and complete state of fear. There was no break, there was no outlet. Words can’t even begin to describe how it feels to have no safe or supportive outlet for an extended amount of time with no end date in sight. Only those of us who have experienced this, understand the depths of despair and damage that comes from incarceration. Some of us have had it better or worse than others, but the amount of time becomes less important when the experience itself leaves us all with the same type of irreversible scars.

               I’m not going to fill this with a list of things that were done to me or I watched done to others, but rather, what I took with me after release. Which is the pain, the stories, the voices of the voiceless, and the truth of what is happening inside systems of power and control.

               My ability to stand where I am presently is not because we have great quality programs with big success rates, it’s because I’m not the person typically seen in these systems. Was I treated just as bad inside- yes, but I had no other factors working against me, I have never been a part of a marginalized community where incarceration and failure are all too common. Being told I would be a failure and go to adult prison by corrections staff in my mind was a joke. I come from a supportive and loving family, grew up in a suburb, graduated high school in high honors, was a choir geek, had tons of friends, and had a scholarship to a private college. All of that didn’t prevent me from ending up in an abusive relationship, but it definitely gave me what I needed to navigate myself out of correctional control. I wish my sisters who were there with me would have had that same luxury, but the narrative for them was far from luxurious.

               When I reflect on my experience from 10 years ago in comparison to the research and data that has since come out around girls in the juvenile justice system it’s a perfect match. My time at the East Central Regional Juvenile Center was my very first encounter with girls my age who identified as Native American. I remember being confused as to why almost all of my peers were either Native American or Black when I had never even crossed paths with any Native girls in my life up to that point. I know now that I had a good reason for that confusion. The data for Minnesota alone shakes me to my core.

               In our “Minnesota Nice” state, let’s take a look at how “Nice” we really are by looking at some data…

· Native American girls make up less than 1% of Minnesota’s population, yet they are TEN TIMES more likely than white girls to be detained in confinement. (The Sentencing Project, 2013)

· Black girls make up approx. 7% of Minnesota’s population and are FOUR TIMES more likely than White girls to be detained in confinement. (The Sentencing Project, 2013)

Congratulations Minnesota, We are 1 of 3 states that have the highest racial disparities in the entire country for Native and Black girls. The next time you think about “how far we’ve come” from dismantling racism- I encourage you to remember this data. It remains unchanged despite the millions of dollars that has been awarded and spent to address our disparities. This data shakes me to my core- and it should do the same for you. I pose the question, how is it that our numbers in disparities have remained the same when there has been millions of dollars spent to address this problem?

               I’d say it’s about time for everyone to wake up and realize that the money is ALWAYS awarded to the people who don’t understand the problem or the solution. The money gets used toward programs and initiatives that come from the perspective that “these people must have specific cultural issues that land them into criminal behavior, therefore we need to address the behavior in these communities.” This perspective will NEVER bring different results because THEY are not the problem, WE ARE! When I say we, I’m referring to the government, systems, policies, practices, and white people who try so hard to be the ones with the solution but will never have the understanding necessary to have the real solution. If we want REAL solutions to these disparities, we need to understand the REAL problem.

               It’s almost as if we are placing Band-Aids on everything except the wound. Reality Check: Wounds continue to bleed until we put the Band-Aid on the source of the blood, the wound. If you take nothing else from this, please take this… Our disparities will remain the same until we take accountability for the fact that racism is the root cause of the issues, racism is the wound that needs to be addressed and hopefully healed. This is why I fight.

LET THOSE WHO UNDERSTAND THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM CREATE THE SOLUTION!